Which world are you cultivating, really?

I’ve lived in a world where people are more likely to give the benefit of the doubt.

Where we get curious and ask questions before taking aim or fire.

Where we assume other people are coping, just like us.

Anxious, just like us.

Trying, just like us.

Doing what makes sense to them, just like us.

We assume that the mistakes and mishaps aren’t personal.

People tend to just be clumsy at times, just like us.

They’re not giving us a hard time. They’re having one. Just like us.

And usually - we understand - it’s not the person but the system we should be upset about.

And that’s something we can usually fix.

During conflict we can say “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at the way we’re doing this,“ and then we change it, together.

I enjoy this world because we’re able to work better, together.

We’re more curious, less judgmental and shaming.

We’re more understanding, flexible, and collaborative.

More compassionate and considerate, less hateful and reckless.

Our anxiety lessens because we see and experience the good and safety in human beings, without being unaware of mistakes, risks, misalignment and mishaps.

We trust that we can protect ourselves from those misalignments without attacking or hurting one another. Boundaries are okay and enough. We have agency, here.

And we can recover better, together, too, when someone does get hurt.

We take better accountability and learn better together.

We love the connectedness of it all and we don’t want to lose that. So we do our best to nurture and protect it instead.

Sometimes I’m in this world and I really love this world.

Other times, when I go into certain environments or a certain thing is taking over the News and Social News Cycles - I feel like I’ve quantum leapt into a different Universe where these things are no longer normal.

Hate is normal.

Shaming is normal.

We skip curiosity and go right to judgment and assumptions - where we tend to assume the worst.

We assume that people are inconsiderate and reckless instead of coping in a way that makes sense to them - just like us.

We forget they’re having a hard time. All we can see is them giving us one.

We assume that people don’t care instead of assuming they’re juggling responsibilities and priorities they’re trying to make sense of - just like us.

We commit ourselves to stories of a scary, terrible world full of evil people around every corner that we need to protect ourselves from.

We fear the disconnectedness of it all and we don’t want to become a victim within it. So we do our best to protect ourselves from other people, instead of protecting and nurturing the connections we have with other people.

This hyper individualism sets in and it spreads, from person to person. Until everyone is touched.

It’s tough for everyone, right now, to not be touched by this world.

And everyone being touched by this world is trying desperately to correct it and turn it back into the world we know is possible instead.

We’re trying to resist.

Remember this:

In spaces where hate is normal, love is resistance.

In spaces where shaming is normal, compassionate accountability is resistance.

In spaces where fighting against one another is normal, collaborating for the wellbeing of one another is resistance.

In spaces where jumping to judgment is normal, easing into curiosity is resistance.

Where blaming people is normal, blaming the system is resistance. And yes - this includes systems of culture.

In an environment full of fear it’s important that we have courage.

The courage a lot of us are looking for is the courage to be the resistance.

I think it’s important to know what the resistance is.

Because it can be easy to fall for the propaganda that pointing out rage at one another is the “right thing” to do right now.

Pay attention to the world you cultivate.

Rooting for You,

Tori