2 min read

When Processing Isn't Working

When Processing Isn't Working
Photo by Uday Mittal / Unsplash

About 80% of the clients I work with come in with a similar story. When they do the mental and verbal processing, whatever they're processing always pops back up later.

Usually when they least expect it. And often when they don't necessarily have the capacity for it.

I'm a big fan of thinking out our shit. I'm a big fan of talking out our shit.

Talking helps us feel seen and heard in the heat of it.

Mentally connecting the dots of it helps us feel safe and clear about how to recover. We've learned, so we're good.

Or so we think, until the pain comes back.

It can come back in the form of stories, beliefs, old reactions and behaviors maybe.

But every single time, we discover that the pain that keeps coming back up is a felt pain.

Meaning feelings are involved.

And feelings live in the body. That's the pain, and the body is where it's stored.

In the tightness of chest. The shortness of breath. The heaviness in the gut. (Where does your show up)?

Really processing old wounds is a physiological event.

One where we discover how to help you safely be with those feelings, but a lot of us struggle with that too when we try them on our own.

We're not taught to be with our feelings. We're taught to be in them.

So when we go to "feel our feelings" we end up drowning in them.

We end up spiraling. Crying our eyes out. Lying in the fetal position (or wanting to).

And not to be dramatic, but many of us end up worrying if we're losing our minds.

And since many of us are conditioned to believe that's the meaning of feeling our feelings, we end up avoiding avoiding avoiding feeling our feelings.

We numb, distract, overwork, dissociate, shut down, or otherwise do anything but touching those big, scary, painful feelings.

One by one people come to me with this story, and one by one I help them find safety in their bodies.

In their minds.

In their stories.

In their sense of self.

I help them access their feelings. Help them feel them. Help them let them go.

Baby step by baby step, they begin to feel a little lighter.

The old stuff eventually stops popping back up. Or when it does, it doesn't feel so overwhelming.

They finally start to actually let some stuff go.

They finally get to create space for the rest of their lives to fit.

And even better, they start to discover how to safely feel their feelings themselves, so they have a self-practice moving forward they can sustain on their own.

This is life changing work, but here's the deal and I'm going to keep it 100% with you.

I'm closing doors on this service for a while to create an app and write a book.

More people need this. And I need the time.

So, if you want me to support you with this - or anything - now's the time to book that call.


P.S. Yes, I said I'm creating an app and I meant it. It won't help people the way the services I provide do, but it will be a good. I need your feedback though so I can make sure. Click here to lend your voice. Thank you.