On Grief & Joy
A love letter to those carrying a little extra this season.
The holidays is a joyous season for me. It's also a grieving season.
I notice that when I try to ignore the grief, I find myself frustrated, eager for it all to be over.
My presence falls flat and I grow irritable, judging the entire season as “performative” and the tension of that judgment radiates through my whole body. I can barely stand it.
I also feel really exhausted. I wake up feeling heavy, not having the energy to keep up with it all. Just a little bit resentful of those who can.
It goes on like this until I realize it’s only getting to me because I’m the one trying to perform. Forgetting my grief.
