Happy New Year Bb :)
My hope is that you've already started planning your 2023 goals before seeing this.
We're going to do one final check-in before you move forward with that.
Rock with me for a quick exercise.
Step 1: Make a list of life categories that are meaningful to you for 2023.
- Career // Business
- Relationships (you can also break these up into types of relationships if necessary)
- Personal Finance
- Mental Health
- The list goes on
Step 2: write down your goal for each category.
ONE major goal per category. That's it.
Step 3: starting at the top, go back through each category and ask yourself one question.
If everything in this category stayed the same for just one more year, would I be okay with that?
Avoiding the Oppressive Culture of Goal-Setting
We often choose the goals we do because society told us we "should".
Society happens to push us to make two specific goals year after year:
- Make more money
- Look "better"
We go along with the culture of this without really considering if this goal will actually make a big difference in our lives.
Asking this question helps us break the cycle.
"If everything in this category stayed the same for just one more year, would I be okay with that?"
You might hit the career category and realize you love your team, your boss, and your pay isn't bad.
So why are you so pressed for a promotion that will take all of these things you're actually happy with away from you?
Because some IG motivational speaker said we always "should" want "more"?
When we set goals, I think it's important to remember that we live in a (racist, capitalist) society that tells us to never be happy with where we're at.
I think it's important to question that.
You might find that the area of your life you're actually needing transformation isn't in your career.
You're happy there.
You might find that you make enough money, and what you really want to focus on in 2023 is financial literacy so you can learn how to better manage the money you already make.
That breaks cycles.
You might find that a fitness transformation isn't that enticing this year.
But relational transformations feel necessary.
So maybe your #1 2023 commitment is to learn how to love well.
Or how to trust.
It's okay to make 2023 a maintenance year for categories like career and fitness.
Make it a transformation year for the things that actually need your time, attention, and support.
It's okay to think differently about goals this year.
Commit to the categories of your life where change is really going to do something for you.
I think half the reason we don't stick to goals is that we're setting goals we're not actually that invested in to begin with.
And we end up getting pulled away by the things we actually are invested in transforming.
But we weren't honest with ourselves in the beginning when we could've said things like...
"Actually, my #1 goal this year is to spend more time with my family and improve my relationships. Because if they stay the same that will hurt. So I'm going to be intentional about that this year, instead of riding the 'make more money' wave that I truly don't need to ride."
Reflect on that. Do that.
And it doesn't mean you won't make more money.
It just means it's not the priority. It's not the thing that's on fire. So don't treat it as such. If it happens, cool. If not, also cool.
"What if I Still Can't Choose?"
Then ask yourself one more question:
What's the ONE thing I can focus on that will make everything else easier or obsolete?
(Stole that question from this book. Don't love the book. But I do love the question. And I'll get a small commission if you grab it through my link regardless).
Anyway, good luck this year. :)
And remember, if you want to kick off with some extra support I have a few spots open this month (but that's it). Click the card below to see if it's up your alley.